Balanced Posture = Ease and Confidence

When you speak with people how much space do you maintain between you? Is there a right amount of space?

If you're a fan of Seinfeld, you may have seen the episode with the "close talker"...Even if you haven't seen the episode, the name kind of says it all. There's a character who seems to need much less personal space than what is the cultural norm. Maybe you've talked with a "close talker" or visited a culture where people tend to "talk closer" or farther than what you're accustomed to. My point here is, that most of us tend to have a sense of how much space we want between ourselves and the people we're conversing with.

What I find particularly noteworthy is that not only do we create space by how far we stand from someone, but we also create it with our posture.

Centered, balanced posture can have a present and inviting effect on communication. The person is neither pushing toward (close-talking) nor pulling away (far-talking) from the person they are speaking with.

The trick is to know what centered, balanced, posture feels like. If you're not used to it, how to get there might seem confusing. You might feel tempted to try to stand up straight by lifting your chest and pulling your shoulders back. Holding this position will make you tilt backwards, pulling away from the other person, making you a "far talker". You also might feel stiff or short of breath if you stand this way...less present, centered and calm. This held, pulled back posture can come across as disconnected.

If you'd like to be able to use your power and communicate effectively or be a receptive active listener, holding a stiff, "far talker" posture won't help. Maintaining a centered presence that invites the other person or audience to connect with you will.

Creating a connection allows you to communicate powerfully with ease and confidence. Holding a stiff pose does not and it all starts with your posture and breathing, whether you are speaking with an audience of 1 or 1,000.

Next time you speak with someone or talk in front of a group, see if you can notice where you position your body. Also, you might notice it changes in different situations.

To begin to create a balance posture when speaking, start with balancing your weight as evenly as you can on your feet. It's ok to shift your weight from time to time, but if you tend to habitually stay back on your heels, forward on your toes, or always on one foot, experiment with balancing it out more. Also, check out my upcoming workshops, Posture Under Pressure: Command Your Presence with Effective Communication.